Warning: Church Weddings May Seriously Damage Your (Photographic) Memories
If your wedding photography matters to you enough to hire a professional wedding photographer, and if you’re planning to get married in a church, you may want to think carefully when choosing your church. It’s been happening increasingly of late. I arrive at a church wedding, go and politely introduce myself to the vicar, only to be told “There’s no photography at all during the ceremony so you’ll have to stand at the back and not take photos. I’ll call you forward when they’re signing the register.” Some aren’t actually that polite. Some are quite rude.
It happened several times recently. On one occasion I was attending a wedding at St Stephens Church, Tonbridge where the vicar was brusque, and dismissive. He told me to stand at the back of his dimly lit church and not take any photos during the ceremony. I politely protested and he conceded slightly, allowing me to take some photos but without any flash. So with the camera at as high an ISO setting as I could muster without sacrificing all the picture quality, with my shutter speed stuck at around 1/20th of a second and my best paparazzi lens image-stabilised and at full zoom, I decided to go for quantity to ensure I got at least a few good shots. But it was worth it to hear the vicar going on and on about sex in his address; not a sentence could pass by without at least three mentions of the word. My how the congregation squirmed, especially those with children present.
I was also invited to be photographer at a friend’s wedding at the Parish Church of St Cosmas and St Damian in Keymer, West Sussex. At the rehearsal the guest vicar said I wasn’t allowed at the front and that I’d have to manage from the back; and possibly I could come down the left-hand aisle and get some beautiful images of the back of the bride’s head. The church warden then intervened and pronounced chapter and verse of parish policy, stating that no photos were to be taken at all during the ceremony. Apart from this the rehearsal was a shambles, with the vicar totally unfamiliar with the very standard order of service. So on the day of course I took photos, this time electing to go light and using just my trusty Canon 5D and my lovely 50mm f1.4 lens. The church warden’s glares didn’t phase me at all. I wasn’t being paid so I was there in the capacity of friend and private individual, not as professional photographer. If there had been any complaint I would have pointed out that the little envelopes the couple had been asked to supply with cash payments for all involved would have provided much interest to the local branch of HM Revenue & Customs. Perhaps if more of the money made it into the church’s accounts, they’d be able to afford a new sign to replace the tatty, weathered one in place currently.
Of course, on both occasions I was able to get some good shots, but not without some cost. Unless the couple turn away from the vicar, they mostly present a rear-view to the camera. Standing at the back I’m forced snap away almost continuously, and the shutter on the 5D isn’t the quietest thing in Christendom. Were I standing near the front and using carefully bounced flash, I would be able to approach the job surgically, taking only a few shots at strategically chosen moments. I’d be able to get close-ups of the exchange of rings. Above all I could capture the emotion of two people declaring their love and commitment before all their family & friends.
All is not lost, however. The Catholic church appears to be generally much more welcoming to photographers. I’m not entirely sure whether it’s policy or luck of the draw, but all my Catholic weddings have started with a priest who meets and greets me with a broad smile and an invitation to do what I like, stand where I like, move around at will, take as many photos as I like when I like, with or without flash.
But even in the Anglican world, just as it’s the people you deal with in companies who make the difference, the right clergyman can work wonders. Take Father Martin Morgan at St Mary’s Church in Rottingdean, for example - not only is his church lovely, ancient and characterful, Father Martin is a treasure in his own right. With his vaguely Hancock-esque glibly humorous outlook on life (legend has it he was once a script writer for Frankie Howerd), and his genuinely warm attitude to his congregants, happy couples and even photographers, Father Martin Morgan will do everything he can to help your photographer to get the best possible photographs . He even tells fabulously funny jokes at appropriate moments, such as when the bride is having a little wobble.
Of course this is my personal experience with him, but I think he’d be the same with any well-mannered photographer who knows his job and introduces himself properly. I may however be in a small minority of photographers who do this. Unfortunately Father Martin is also in a minority. Hopefully when he retires he’ll run some sort of priest training college where he can teach clergy to serve their customers in the same way he does. Lord knows the Church of England needs it.
The moral of the story is this: if you’re planning on a church wedding, and if the photographic record matters to you, make sure you choose a clergyman and church who will share your cares instead of stamping all over them. You’re their customers - so demand a service.
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Alan Spencer responded on 30 Sep 2008 at 9:45 am #
My wife and I were recently affected by exactly this sort of situation. Karen wanted a church wedding and she chose the local parish church in her home town in East Sussex where she was christened and confirmed. We didn’t even think to ask if our photographer could take photos or where he could stand. Sadly our wedding photographer didn’t warn us either and dutifully obeyed church policy and stood at the back of the church taking no photos at all except of a sterile mocked-up signing of the register complete with forced smiles. The lost moments - Karen walking up the aisle; the first time I saw Karen that day; the lifting of her veil; the exchanging of rings - leave us feeling genuinely sad. Even in a church wedding everything moves so fast and it’s all a blur, and we regret having no photos from the actual ceremony to remind us. Thank you for highlighting this ridiculous abuse of power by the church and for warning other couples who might have their wedding photos ruined in this way.
Rod Pascoe responded on 01 Oct 2008 at 8:46 pm #
This is something that I and many of my wedding photographer friends discuss on frequent basis. What right to the various clergy have to ruin the happiest day in a couples life?
I would be interested in hearing what the various church central offices say about their pompous and officious clergy.
A well written and insightful article Jon
Rod
Alex from Suffolk responded on 16 Oct 2008 at 12:22 pm #
You know, you are so right about Catholic priests!
All the Catholic weddings I’ve covered, the priest has been very accommodating.
I make the effort to discuss this issue with my couples beforehand and to get them to check with their church/vicar etc.. If everyone is on the same page beforehand then their should be less cause for tears later on.
Brides and grooms should have the final say, but till that happens, we have to work around the issue as best we can.
I’m tinkering with the idea of shooting in the church with a rangefinder f1.4 fixed which I can hide in my coat a la Bresson
Dror responded on 03 Nov 2008 at 9:02 pm #
Nicely written. I often end up in situations, this is in South Africa, where even at wedding/conference venue, the priest turns to me at the beginning of the ceremony and says no photos during the ceremony, loud enough so that everyone can hear him. I always smile. My policy is to not photograph during prayers - the rest of the time is fair game.
Adrian responded on 19 Nov 2008 at 2:23 pm #
We got married in July 08 and the vicar normally does not allow photographs duringt he service, stating it distracts from the religous elements. But having built up a great relationship with the vicar as part of our pre wedding activity she made an exception.
Like many things in life, having great relationships with people can move mountains.
Regards
Adrian
Chris Chapman responded on 08 Dec 2008 at 10:56 pm #
What a well argued article! And it echoes my experience comepletely. Whenever I photograph in a Catholic Church, I experience the same welcome; do what you want, go where you want, etc. - and the photographic record is, as a consequence, is insightful, intimate and vibrant. I always advise couples to check closely with the church just what is allowed and what is not - before they finalise arrangements if possible. In any case, it is better to explain to the church what is wanted, rather than leaving it up to the church alone.
Fazackarley responded on 05 Jan 2009 at 2:25 pm #
I had one last year where, 2 months prior to the ceremony, the bride gave me a 30pg ‘guide’ the vicar demands all photographers read before entering the church!
I read it, bit patronising, but nothing out of the ordinary…then on the day of the wedding he confined me to the organ loft or ’somewhere I can’t see you’ with the comment ‘If I see or hear you at all, I will stop the ceremony!’
Quite a challenge!
Jon Silver responded on 05 Jan 2009 at 3:59 pm #
Actually I had one (Anglican) just a few weeks ago who pretty much told me I could do what I liked as long as I didn’t get too close… however he then turned to me as I was taking long shots of people smiling at his witty address, and said “Could you go away please”. How rude. I could have said the same actually, he was ruining my view. I wasn’t stopping him doing his job, but he was sure as hell stopping me doing mine. But once again I did another Catholic one last week where it was all remarkably unrestricted and ever so friendly. Archbishop of Canterbury take note, if you don’t want congregation sizes falling even more.